E(ye) M(ovement) D(esensitization) and R(eprocessing)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a specialized therapy that helps the brain heal from overwhelming or traumatic experiences. When something difficult happens, our mind sometimes holds onto it in a way that feels “stuck.” EMDR uses a structured approach to gently reprocess these memories, so they lose their intensity and become part of your past rather than something that still feels present.
How EMDR Can Support Couples Therapy
Sometimes relationship struggles are less about the present moment and more about old wounds being activated. When one or both partners carry unhealed trauma, painful memories, or negative self-beliefs (“I’m not lovable,” “People always leave me”), those experiences can get triggered in the relationship and lead to conflict, disconnection, or shutdown.
EMDR helps by:
Healing past wounds – so old hurts don’t keep surfacing in the relationship
Reducing reactivity – partners can respond instead of react when triggered
Building safety – working through trauma creates more emotional availability for connection
Strengthening self-worth – when individuals feel more grounded and confident, the relationship benefits
Supporting new patterns – EMDR clears space for healthier ways of relating and communicating
When combined with couples therapy, EMDR can help each partner process what they bring into the relationship, creating a stronger foundation for trust, closeness, and growth together.
The EMDR Process
EMDR follows a series of eight phases designed to support healing in a safe, step-by-step way:
History + treatment planning – learning your story and setting goals
Preparation – building tools for calm and safety
Assessment – identifying specific memories or themes to work on
Desensitization – using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) to reprocess memories
Installation – strengthening new, positive beliefs
Body scan – noticing how your body feels as healing takes place
Closure – ensuring you feel grounded and safe before leaving session
Reevaluation – reviewing progress and next steps
Readiness for EMDR
Because EMDR works directly with memory and emotion, it’s important that certain supports are in place before beginning the reprocessing phases. These may include:
A strong, trusting relationship with your therapist
Consistent session attendance
Ability to use calming strategies both in and outside of session
A stable environment at home and work
Capacity to stay connected to the present moment, even when discussing difficult material
No current self-harming, suicidal, or actively addictive behaviors
Together, we’ll make sure you feel prepared before moving into the deeper phases of EMDR.
In-Person or Virtual Options
EMDR can be offered both in-person and online, and can be used on its own or alongside other therapy approaches.